If Only
by clerky
Summary: My take on what should have happened on trainspotting night. I promise to stop trying to write fics when Aaron and Jackson are back on screen.


Paddy did not look happy as he stumbled towards the table. His glasses had slid down along his nose and beads of perspiration were glistening on his forehead. "There's no such thing as the kiss chase and if you ask for lager, it means you like lager" he spat at Jackson and Marlon as they laughed hysterically at their clueless friend. Marlon continued to tease Paddy about the man he'd attracted, although he was quietly wondering why nobody had bothered to chat him up. He was a bit shocked when he was told that they were going to a gay bar but he'd actually enjoyed it. He looked Paddy up and down as he tried to work out what the vet had that he didn't. Jackson's mind was somewhere else however. Aaron went for a smoke fifteen minutes earlier but hadn't come back yet. He worried that Aaron had got himself into bother. He didn't want to act like the babysitter and he knew that it would only cause a row if Aaron thought that he was checking up on him, but he just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

"Go get him" Paddy interrupted Jackson's train of thought. "Hmmm?" "Go on. I know what you young 'uns are like. Can't bare to be apart for a minute. Go on. You know you want to!" Jackson smiled meekly. He didn't know what to do now. How paranoid would Paddy think he was if he told him how worried he was, but he couldn't stay because he'd made it obvious his mind was elsewhere. He got on his feet and smiled weakly. "You know me too well Paddy mate". He walked slowly towards the side exit door of Bar West hoping that when he got outside he wasn't going to see Aaron decking some poor sod who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He felt bad doubting him. They'd been through so much together in the few months since they'd been a couple and he did trust him but...why did there have to be a but?

Jackson put his hand on the door and slowly pushed it open holding his breath. He stepped onto the footpath and looked around. No sign of Aaron. He began to walk towards the front of the bar when he heard a familiar voice "look I'd better go, will you be ok?" Jackson spun his head around and looked across the road. There he saw Aaron and Roz struggling to pile Holly into a taxi. He'd never been so relieved in all his life to see Holly off her face. Roz looked anxiously into the back of the taxi before she got into the front seat. As they drove away Aaron looked across the road and smiled. He couldn't help himself when he saw his boyfriend. He'd come so close to stuffing things up between them in the past and he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have someone so amazing in his life. "Jealous?" Aaron teased as they walked towards each other. "Don't worry, she's not my type" he continued. Jackson smiled and hoped that Aaron didn't realise that he was checking up on him. "You're out of her league anyway mate", Jackson hoped to God he sounded convincing.

"So what are you doing out here anyway - is Marlon boring everyone to death rambling about Rhona?" "No, I...eh...need some cash, just nipping to the bank - join me if you want to". As they walked towards the atm Aaron explained that he saw Holly slumped on the footpath accross the road when he went out for a fag. Jackson felt an overwhelming sense of guilt at doubting Aaron. He'd changed so much and what kind of a boyfriend was he for thinking the worst of him.

As Jackson stood at the atm he glanced over his shoulder and saw Aaron disappearing down a narrow laneway. What's he up to now he thought to himself and quickly followed as soon as he had pocketed the cash he didn't want in the first place. The lane was dark and grim looking and the most worrying thing was that there was no sign of Aaron. "Aaron". No response. "Aaron, this isn't funny mate, just come out now". "I already have, or did you nod off in court!". Jackson quickly turned round to see Aaron stepping out of the shadows. He'd been lurking in the darkness and had a very cocky smirk on his face.

"Over here NOW" Aaron demanded, still smiling. Jackson made his way over to his boyfriend. It was such a turn on when Aaron was this confident, and it had taken so long to get to this point. As soon as Jackson got him Aaron grabbed his shoulders and turned him around so that his back was to the wall. Then they stood there, their faces only inches apart anticipating what may happen next.

Aaron leaned in and slowly their lips met. They kissed tenderly at first and then deeper as they explored each others mouths. Jackson wrapped his arms around Aaron's well toned back. He had a great body, and he knew it. Jackson wished they were at home right now and he could unwrap the present which he held in his arms. Aaron moved from Jackson's lips and began to kiss and nibble at his neck. He moved his head just behind Jackson's right ear and whispered "I've got a little surprise for you". With that he moved his hands down along Jackson's torso until he reached the top of his jeans. He began to unbuckle the belt when Jackson grabbed him by his wrists. "Aaron stop, we can't do this here" "Wanna bet?" Aaron wriggled free and continued to struggle with Jackson's belt. "What if someone sees us - what if the old bill catch us - you're still on probation so you'll definately go down" "Believe me Jay, I Am Definately Going Down". Even Jackson couldn't argue with that and with a cheeky grin he released Aaron from his grip and allowed him to slide down along his body. He opened Jackson's belt and pulled down his boxers to release his throbbing erection. Jackson closed his eyes as he felt Aaron take him into his mouth and begin to suck him off. Aaron was keeping his balance by holding on to Jackson's ass and slowly allowed his hands to wander and explore. As he continued to move his mouth up and down Jackson's long thick cock he inserted one finger into his hole. Jackson groaned with pleasure and put his head back against the cold wall. There was no doubt about it, Aaron gave good head. Even though he'd been with other blokes, nothing compared to this, they had a connection, something neither of them could explain. As Aaron continued to suck him off while fingering his hole Jackson could feel the passion burning inside him and knew that he was getting very close. "Aaron...I'm gonna...c..." At that Aaron's mouth was filled with Jackson's creamy cum and he greedily swallowed every drop. He rose to his feet again and kissed Jackson passionately.

They continued to kiss, Jackson not even noticing that his pants were still around his ankles. They were disturbed by a rustling sound from down the lane, followed by glass breaking. Jackson dived down and grabbed his clothes as Aaron looked nervously around to see who was there. "Look" Aaron started to laugh as their imposter came closer. "Just a pussy!" he continued as a cat ran past them. "I wondered what scared him more - the noice he made when he knocked over that bin or the sight of your di..." "Shut up" Jackson interrupted "Time to go back to the bar".

As they walked back towards Bar West Jackson noticed that Aaron had gone quiet. He wondered what this could mean. Aaron didn't say much at the best of times and liked everybody to think that he was the hard man but Jackson had seen through that facade a long time ago. He knew that his boyfriend was a deeply emotional person even if he found it incredibly difficult to put his feelings into words. "Well?", Jackson decided that it was better to be direct and not beat around the bush. "You... you're the..." Aaron paused and looked skywards hoping to get inspiration. He composed himself and tried again. "Even though I don't say it I hope you know that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me". Jackson was delighted and a little embarrassed. He knew that those words would not have come easily to Aaron and while it wasn't the declaration of love that he craved, it was definately a move in the right direction. Jackson smiled and pulled Aaron closer and tenderly kissed him. Aaron suddenly broke off their kiss "One other thing - you're flies undone". With that Aaron disappeared back into Bar West as Jackson zipped his jeans back up. He looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching him. As he turned his head he noticed a familiar car drive past. "It can't be" He thought to himself. But there could be no mistaking the ugly head behind the steering wheel of the blue Fiesta. Mickey drove past unconcerned by Jackson's presence, he seemed to be much more interested in the slapper he had with him. Jackson breathed a sigh of relief. "Now that was lucky" he thought as he slipped back in the door of the bar to enjoy the rest of his night.


End file.
